As this month of resolve draws to a close, I thought I had better be accountable and revisit the resolutions I so flagrantly declared to you all at the beginning of January with the notion that my attempts at self-improvement would be of great general interest.

Guess what? I’m a new woman……finally! Fortunately, a sassy gay man came to me and offered to straighten my hair, pluck my eyebrows, and remove my glasses–as these things have been proven time and again to vastly improve a previously unsightly and unacceptable girl.

Just kidding, you guys!!!! I’m all about regression, curly hair, big eyebrows, and glasses!!!!!

Although I have not received a dramatic physical makeover, I have made some changes in January and perhaps have become a slightly altered version of myself. So, I’ll just recap this madcap month for lack of anything better to do. (There are like 906 to-do items in my Bullet Journal from hell, get off my back!)

Because I’m a glass-half-empty kind of a gal and because I don’t want you to feel too bad when you compare your failures to the glaring light of my successes, I’ll assign a percentage of failure (using very complicated math[s]) to each of my 2017 Resolutions.

Dry January

16.1 % FAILURE

Well, I already admitted to you last week that I’d slipped up a few times and it was sorta more like Damp January. I only admitted this because I asked B if he thought it would be okay if I just lied and pretended like I had achieved an entirely dry January and he said no, it would not be okay to lie, I needed to tell the truth. So I guess I must rub further salt into my wound (after all it’s hard to pass up good old fashioned self-flagellation).

Really though, I feel like I exceeded my own expectations by only drinking 5 out of 31 days. And not to excess. Especially since I had to cope with going back to work, La La Land depression, and the inauguration of Lord Voldemort. I mean, 16.1% failure is not that bad right!?!

In fact, I think my goal for February will be to replicate this moderate success. To be honest, I was hoping that I’d feel so good from not drinking that I would suddenly become a lifelong teetotaller. This did not happen. Sometimes you just need to quiet an overactive mind and relax!

Bullet Journal

6.4% (adherence) FAILURE

74.2% (artistic) FAILURE

As you can see by my ‘adherence’ rate, I have been pretty successful with maintaining the journal on a day-to-day basis. And I do feel that it has helped my productivity and organisation levels. I mean, tasks are still looming and hanging over my head and will probably migrate from month to month until it’s suddenly 2018… but at least they are there in black and white and I have to face them.

I have to measure my artistic failure more subjectively and naturally I’m apt to feel that I haven’t met my exacting and idealistic standards. I’ve gotten a bit bored with my day view and I feel like I need to step up my creative game. More illustrations! More crafty layouts! Who has time for this?! I’m also unhappy with the dark colours of the pens I chose and their tendency to bleed through the paper.

Basically, I was counting down the days to February when I could implement a BuJo Makeover. This coming month, I’ve opted for coloured pencils and more artistic and detailed layouts. I guess it’s like the bullet journal equivalent of waxing those brows, taming that hair, and putting in those contacts.

In January (and again in February) I tried to only include ‘positive’ activities and chores on my Habits Tracker so that I could feel a sense of accomplishment when looking at the ticked boxes. I’ve found that the most consistent (occurring nearly every day) of my January habits were: yoga-ing (ie performing an actor’s warmup in the morning), not drinking (ha!), getting up before 7am (yep), writing (yay), reading fiction (woo), and staying within the parameters of my food goals (pizza now, please). Things I did every damn day include but are not limited to: drinking an adequate amount of water (hydration!), reading some news (depressing), and making the bed (the cornerstone of all successful people). But if my Habits Tracker taught me anything this month, it’s that I am no better at practicing the piano than I was when I was a child…WHY IS IT SO PAINFUL?!

Additional questions raised from this arbitrary, Type A, and First World practice: is this all life is–drinking water and making the bed? Why is 6am so cold and dark and existent? Why do I feel so enraged when I accidentally tick the wrong box with the wrong colour? What will future historians conclude when they pore over my Bullet Journal (obviously ultimately housed for preservation at the British Library)?

On a more serious note, I feel like the journal has helped me to structure and document weeks that I previously felt were slipping through my fingers too quickly. I also do feel more inclined to follow through with activities that I know I can tick off in a grid that will last for all eternity.

Weekes Went to the Gym… sorta

 61.3% FAILURE

This percentage of failure means that I went to gym 12 out of the 31 days of January. My goal was to go 5 days per week but IN MY DEFENSE all sorts of stuff went down that made this impossible. Firstly, I have somehow had a deathly cold for the majority of this month. I think it was probably my body questioning why it’s running on a treadmill and not drinking lovely alcohol and eating delicious pizza. At any rate, my hacking and the constant blowing of the nose made the gym a pretty unattractive option for a couple of weeks. Additionally, there were train and tube strikes galore that diminished my gym enthusiasm greatly once I’d finally made it home from work. Like the evening I ended up walking the last 5 miles of my journey in the pouring rain — I felt like I didn’t really need to go to gym once I finally got home from the epic odyssey of hell.

But whatever. I can do better. Riiiiiiight?

I begin February sort of in good health and will set my target at 5 days per week again.

And thus ends my self-review of January. Here’s a moderate toast to February and turning over yet another new leaf!

How have y’all done so far with your resolutions for the New Year???? I’d love to hear about your struggles (I mean, successes!) in the comments!!

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Yada yada yada here’s a Weekes Word to bring you into February.

Gelid: from the Latin gelu -> gelidus-> gelid (17th century) and meaning icy or extremely cold. Ex: Why is bleak and gelid January the month in which we’re supposed to kneel to deprivation and face inevitable failure? WHHHHHHHY?!?!?!?

xWG // #dazeandweekes