Today’s post involves…
Sex! Scandal! Sex scandal!
But first a tiny bit of admin! It feels like I haven’t posted in foreverrrrrr but I guess it’s only been a week and a half and you probably haven’t missed me like I’ve missed you 😦 … but I have been busy with work and some exciting music stuff (stay tuned!) and things like emotionally coping with dropping my wedding ring in a public toilet and having to retrieve it with my bare hand (which will now require amputation, obviously). But if you have missed me, there’s good news! Daze & Weekes is now on Instagram! So if that’s your thing, feel free to follow @dazeandweekes for a daily dose of humour and outdated 90s references (and, well, mostly pictures of Jane and Edward, let’s be honest).
Now back to more herstory and
Sex! Scandal! Sex scandal!
Well, no not that Joan.
No no, not that Joan either!
This Joan who, though rendered in great detail below, you might not recognise.
Joan, Lady of Wales was the illegitimate daughter of King John (him again!)–and not to be confused with John’s legit daughter also of the name Joan. Because, as I’ve previously noted, there were only like 3 names in the Middle Ages. I guess this was before people were allowed to just make shit up or name children after random inanimate objects. ANYWAY, we’re just gonna leave Legit Joan up in Scotland for now and focus on Illegit Joan down in Wales. For the sake of continuity (the insatiable need I have to illustrate my points with Game of Thrones references), let’s imagine Joan is a bit like Shae.
John was able to marry Illegit Joan off to prince Llywelyn the Great just after the turn of the 12th century. Llywelyn was Prince of Gweynedd (a northern Medieval kingdom of Wales) and eventually sort of became in charge of all of Wales–which I guess is what makes him so ‘great’. Evidently, he did most of his ruling from a La-Z-Boy recliner from whence he also bored his sons to tears with his anecdotes.
Yes, poor Illegit Joan was married to this total bore (supposition based entirely on the illuminated text illustration) Llywelyn who, despite being ‘great’, left something to be desired….in the sack. Sadly for Joan-Shae (or maybe gladly as it turns out???), he was no Tyrion Lannister.
But yeah, so Joan and Llywelyn were married and despite Llywelyn’s boringness and lack of sexual prowess (#facts) they managed to have some kiddos together–one of which was named Dafydd (also pictured above).
Meanwhile, remember Mouthy Matilda and her hubby William de Braose IV (the Starks)? One of their sons was named Reginald de Braose and he married a chick called Grecia Briwere who subsequently gave birth to another William de Braose…. who was eventually known as (dunt dunt dunt) Black William, tarnish on the noble house of Braose!
This Black William did some stuff (like marry a gal called Eva Marshal and have some daughters and do a bit of Medieval war mongering) and he was eventually captured by the boring but great Llywelyn. Black William and Llywelyn then managed to forge an alliance and arrange for a marriage to take place between Llywelyn’s son Dafydd and Black William’s daughter Isobella (cheers, Dad!).
But before this marriage went forward………. Black William was caught in bed with none other than Llywelyn’s wife, our Joanie!!!!!!
So Llywelyn did what any reasonable husband would do and proceeded to commit murder.
No no no jkjkjkjkjk Llywelyn didn’t kill Joan–she lived! Miraculously!
Black William, however, was not so lucky.
Unfortunately (for him), Black William was hanged on 2 May 1230.
Everyone else pretty much weirdly lived happily ever after (for a minute) though! Like Dafydd and Isobella ended up getting married anyway (a bit awkward? my dad slept with your mum and then your dad killed my dad?) and Joan was forgiven by Llywelyn and restored back to favour after only 12 months.
Alas, Joanie followed Black William to his grave only 7 years later when she died of natural causes in her mid-forties. Still, I call it a win.
Though much upstaged by future Joans, let’s raise a glass to the once saucy Joan, Lady of Wales!
Here’s a wee little Weekes Word for ya.
Cully: first used in the 17th century, of unknown origin and seems to have two sort of disparate meanings–either a man/friend OR someone who is easily tricked/a dupe. Ex: Taking Llywelyn for a cully, Joan and William hopped into bed together.
xWG // #dazeandweekes